We have all heard about them. We have all seen them. We all talk about the people from them. But how do they start? Sometimes people are just born into them. Sometimes people end up in them out of need. But the other day I learned that there are the ones that start life just destined to end up in their own "trailerhood". These future trailerhood residents start out at a particularly young age. From what I've seen Id guess at maybe around 9 or 10 yrs old.
Let me start by painting a picture for you. We live in a very small town. We have a bar, a restaurant and a couple of Churches. And if you go far enough down the dirt road you can find a cemetery. Yeah, we don't have much around and we generally have to make our own excitement.
Last summer on a particularly nice day I was sitting outside at my neighbors house down by the river enjoying the weather. Its not unusual for the kids to walk by to head down to the river to swim or even just hang out by the water. Well on this particular day there was one boy who we watched walk all the way up the road and he would periodically stop and bend over and reach to the ground. We wondered what he was doing but couldn't quite figure it out. As the summer went on this happened more and more. Then we started to see this boy walk by the house puffing on cigarettes. We thought "How is such a young kid getting cigarettes?" This whole thing was quiet the mystery for us.For a while longer we would watch this process of him walking and bending over and smoking. But we never put the pieces together. .....Well not until the towns Birthday Party at the end of August. The towns birthday party is quite an ordeal for our little town. The bar hires a band and they play outside. There are hay bales set up in the road for people to sit and enjoy the music. The fire department (across from the bar) has a Chicken bbq and games for kids and a giant garage sale. Its without a doubt the party of the year for our little town. By the end of the day there is also quite a mess on the ground between beer bottles and cigarette butts and just plain ol trash. It was that night we learned what this boy was doing. He was walking up and down the road picking up cigarette butts that people would either throw on the ground or chuck out their car windows. We were in shock when we saw what the boy was doing. We could not believe our eyes. We tried to rationalize and say "No he isn't really doing that!"
So we had to test him. In front of my friends house we threw some cigarette butts out in the road.....then we waited....just like a hunter does. Before we knew it here he comes up the road. I wont lie, there was some excitement in the air. "Will he or wont he???" Quietly we waited for him. As he approached we were almost squealing with excitement. As he got closer his eyes got like saucers as he spotted the rather large butts on the ground. Now I have to give it to him....he was one smooth operator. Right as he got to the butts he suddenly noticed his shoes were untied. In one quick movement he stopped, knelt down, tied his shoes, scooped up the butts and continued on his way. Yup, at that moment he officially became known as "the buttpicker".
As winter arrived it made it harder for him to get his butts. People aren't out walking up and down the road and dropping them. And if he does spot one its usually all wet and soggy from the snow. So the winter was kind of a double let down as he was no longer in "butt heaven" and we were no longer able to watch him and be totally grossed out by what he was doing. Well....until 2 days ago that is.
On this particular day I was on my couch watching TV and the dog was sitting in the window watching whatever it is she watches all day. Then she started barking and going nuts. That's what she does anytime anyone walks by. This went on longer than usual so I decided to turn my head and look to see what she was barking at. What she saw was the buttpicker standing in the middle of the road. I watched him for a moment. He looked like he was maybe yelling at a friend up the road or something. After a minute I saw him stick his hand down his pants. I was originally grossed out by this but curiosity got the best of me so I had to see what he was going to do. I thought for sure he was posing with his willie hanging out while his friend took his picture. No, I couldn't see anything....but from my angle that's what it looked like was happening. After a minute I see his friend run around the corner carrying an old paint can. He went to the buttpicker and they both looked in the can then quickly ran to the side of the road and set the can down in the snowbank. At this point I couldn't look away from the train wreck. I watched them both get their grubby little hands in the bucket and start digging around. The next thing I know they each pull out a butt and light them up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yup that's right folks....the kids stole the cigarette butt can from the bar and its now become their own personal carton of cigarettes. They have returned to the can several times over the last couple days to dig out another smoke. And last night they even brought a couple friends over for a smoke.
Unfortunately for the kids its raining today. Since they didn't put the can under any kind of eve or anything I think they are pretty much SOL until the bar finds another paint can. Its kinda sad really as it gave me something to watch other than regular repeat daytime TV.
Needless to say I do believe these kids are destined for a trailerhood some day!
